A Samhain ritual

In popular current culture, Halloween is about the end of summer, and darkness, and death and transformation and about all the scary things that come with all that death, darkness and transformation. We wear costumes to confront our fears, channel our ancestors or transform into our dreams and we eat pumpkin pie to enjoy the last harvest of the year…Our Halloween celebrations inherited these themes from our Celtic ancestors' Samhain (pronounced Sow-in) celebrations. The two holidays are very closely related—our Halloween was born out of Samhain and is part of the natural cycle of transformation, of death and rebirth, of loss of one thing to be replaced by another.

…But if we look back to the tradition of Samhain, we remember that the darkness and scariness of transformation is also an invitation to light and life. We learn to embrace and enjoy those things that seem dark and scary to us because we know that they will also lead us to growth. Our ancestors who shared their Samhain celebrations with us knew that each loss makes way for new possibilities—we cannot have daytime without sleep, or inspiration without introspection, or spring without fall and winter. So today we embrace loss and even death to invite new life.

The themes that unite Samhain's aspects are the close of the growing season—the final harvest; reunions with, and remembering of, our ancestors; and transformation or change as the quiet dark winter gets the earth ready for spring's rebirth.

The leaves are off the trees, animals have migrated south or going into hibernation, the ground is becoming covered with frost in the mornings, and the fields are empty or prickly with rotted harvest stubble. The sun is lower on the horizon and daylight is shorter.

The year is a circle of time and each day leads to the next. Even though the days are now shorter, darker and colder, they are giving nature a rest and helping the world get ready for its burst of activity and rebirth in the spring. Nature is not just dying away, it is gestating and getting ready to be born anew. This is clearly a time of transformation.

We are celebrate the darkness because it leads to light. We celebrate: the quiet preparation for rebirth and the trust that we have in the world that this fall and winter will prepare us well for spring. We go willingly into the darkness to transform ourselves just as the trees willingly drop their leaves to make way for the new buds.

In the quiet darkness we feel closer to our ancestors who have died and left us and it feels right to ask them to rejoin us in spirit at this time of year. We honor and remember them and ask them to share qualities of themselves that will help us to transform and be renewed. We think of things that were part of their lives that we wish we had more of in our lives now.

Let us invite our ancestors to be with us in this time of darkness and transformation, let us honor them and thank them for the gifts they have shared with us and that live on in and around us. And if we are moved to, let us invite them to help us renew ourselves over the next season with one of their special qualities.

Maybe you had a great aunt who had chutzpah, or a pet who understood gentleness, or an ancestor with uncommon strength. Invite whomever you'd like to honor, and ask them if they will help you learn what you liked best about them.

As the pomegranate is passed to you, you could say the name of the person you'd like to remember and a quality that you want them to share or help you to learn about,

Invocation (with credit to Ashleen O'Gaea, the lines that don't rhyme have been altered from her original):

"On the wheel of the year, now does winter begin,
the world is austere and we all turn within.
We vow there to face the shadows we find,
and work to unlace all their power to bind."

We invite our ancestors here to join us
both those we knew well and those we've only heard of
"…and ask them to kindly share their wisdom and relief
and release in the smoke all our fear and our grief

This task do we claim as we celebrate Samhain
and swear by the flame behind Jack's cheery grin."


I invite from memory my childhood dog, Lady, and honor her for being great company, and invite her to share with me her wisdom on being so gentle and easy to be with.

I also invite the mother and grandmother of my friends, she passed this last year. I remember that she smiled with her whole face including her eyes, I ask that she share that spirit of joy and hope that her memory can teach me to smile as broadly and warmly as she did.

…the pomegranate has been passed to you…

Just for the Joy of it

It's important to be excited about something so that I can handle the doldrums of the day to day little stuff and maintain momentum. I do not wake up excited each day naturally. I need something extra and interesting to focus on that maintains my momentum and energy level. Usually the core day to day maintenance things don't provide that energy in a reliable way.

…I knew a man who was building a completely hand hewn boat (a huge one, really, it was a major project and the amazing result which took him almost a decade to complete is seaworthy) as a hobby. He was not a boat-maker by trade, he was an educator by profession—he just wanted a project that would energize him and give him a healthy challenge and would take the edge off the things he felt obligated to. In fact, he knew little about the endeavor before he began and learned as he went, he even sewed the sails himself. When asked why he undertook it, he would reply "You need something crazy in your life to keep yourself from going crazy."

Here is a short list of what I'm excited about doing today (I'll be doing vitally necessary mundane stuff too. Like paying bills and meeting some routine obligations. However, this list is the things that seem like they'll give me a boost. Whereas my day-to-day commitments are my nutritious meal, these are the deserts that make we want to eat my vegetables.—not the best of metaphors as I love vegetables, but the point is clear.)

-Planning parts of a Samhain/Halloween ritual (I'd like to finish it tonight to send out to my co-planners)
-Beginning to document the mission statement and overall plan of a fundraising effort (I'd like to send out a first installment to council members tonight)
-Revising my resume and pursuing a job... whether I actually want the job or not, I'm excited about doing it for the clarity that it will bring toward my overall career visioning process (the application is due by Nov 2nd at the latest)

Note to Nameless Daughter: You need something crazy to be excited about to keep yourself from going crazy.

Of Zombies, Perceptions and Overarching Paradigms

Rather than posting on my site today, I wrote a lengthy comment to Professor Lohmann's site. You can see it here as a comment to his Zombie post today. His article is well worth the read as it discusses how our perceptions create reality among many other things. Lohmann is ALWAYS interesting...
(note though that his site is very quirqy when viewed in Explorer, try viewing it via Safari if you can)

If you just can't get into his site, here is my comment, but it means little without reading his excellent thesis first. Do try to access his site for his article:

________________________________
Lohmann,

My, but your brain is busy. Does it hurt to live in that tightly structured complicated head of yours? Thanks for the installment--a very good read!

It spured thest thoughts:
If reality is up for grabs, if our condition is a result of "perception," then is the antidote to be found in mastering our perceptions?
what's the cure??? If it is to alter our perceptions, then which perceptions would serve us best for the embracing?

I challenge you to look at these paradigms you are examining as they affect the personal as well as the political. (my base argument is that having personal revolutions is arguably the only long-term way to alter the political realm-witness Gloria Steinem's midlife epiphanies as example)

I liked your article and don't disagree with it or where I see it leading, however, I find myself feeling uncomfortably powerless in the face of paradigms that are almost scheming against me in your thesis. I pose the question of whether you see possible examples of how we can choose our paradigms as we now assume that we must live within a them.

.you argue that we are in an era where we are beginning to realize that we are tacitly destined to be co-opted by an entity greater than ourselves, an overarching paradigm. If we must live within a reality that we ourselves are not in control of day to day and cannot define or even fully understand because it has a life of its own that we are merely a servant to, could we not be proactively wise enough to use the minimal free will we may possibly have to choose which of these overarching paradigms will control us by being our container. I see our only other option for personal power is to be reduced to absurdity or to embrace the realization that nothing indeed matters so we may as well enjoy the ride nihilistically.

If we are indeed able to choose which paradigm contains us, I would argue that the best choice may be to align ourselves with the momentum of Nature (ala the Tao or dharma or quantum physics) than with political and societal paradigms. (ala totalitarianism). I argue that if we must have a paradigm, but cannot create the paradigm yet are able to choose which one we live in service to, it would be best to find the highest/most dominant/thereby most stable and True paradigm and align ourselves first with it in hopes that it will allow us best to play out our highest values in mirror. I am founding this on the assumption that the highest/most dominant paradigm naturally allows for natural balances and supports the truest sub paradigms. Whereas the sub paradigms (those that are human made) may only subvert some of the highest purposes and will therefore be subverted by the dominant paradigm over time via its natural checks and balances. Note also, that I'm holding among those highest purposes, which are in danger of being subverted by anything other than the dominant paradigm, the value of "individuality." I see that all your arguments lead to the ultimate value of reviving the individual identity from a dead container (a very personal agenda I must say even if you are framing it in the political realm). How do we do this? by aligning ourselves with the most dominant paradigm daily via NLP and practiced routine (the very methods used to indoctrinate people into religions, which btw, I see as poor substitutes for the true dominant paradigm which we don't fully understand but can nonetheless move towards).

If you follow my spotty argument, I'm asking: can we not force ourselves into the realm of the Tao and away from the realm of more man-made "civilized" agendas? Would this not serve our truest values better?

Framing some of my comments within movies as you did:
What of movies where we choose our way of being and outlook, even though we see that we have been living within the trap of a paradigm which is beyond our control. Movies such as "Cold Comfort Farm" or "Bliss" (the 1985 one with Harry Joy as protagonist. Note that there are two unrelated movies by this name.) In these movies, the heroes see that they are living in a paradigm that is beyond their own control, yet defining the course of their lives. Upon realizing this, they exercise their power to alter their outlook, still within the paradigm, to in-turn shift the paradigm that contains them. In the end, they still live within the paradigm, but as a result in their shifted outlook, their world is enlarged and they are able to live a more fulfilling life that is better suited to their highest values. Even though they realize they are forever in a game, they no longer "play the game." They have found some wiggle-room by learning how to write their own rules. We may arguably be living within a random given alternate reality, but at least we can exercise as much control as possible over how we thrive in and perpetuate (or don't perpetuate) that reality. Beyond that, we can perhaps align ourselves with the highest most True reality that will allow the most flexibility within the sub-realities. But we must be careful about which reality we choose to align ourselves with and it behooves us to seek the highest, most overarching reality to align ourselves with and that we start with the personal, not the political.

To clarify, I want to touch on another direction that this could go in: the question of whether we could live in a realm where aspects of our identity are allowed to be more fluid. Movies where we choose our identity, such as "Being John Malkovich" and "Seconds" argue that this is possible. However, the heroes don't really find satisfaction in the end as their new lives don't give them enough reason to exist/meaning/juice, they simply give them the freedom of fluidity and the illusion that they aren't trapped in a greater paradigm. Again, if we accept that "all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts." Then all is without fundamental meaning and we may as well drop all efforts at controlling any of our master paradigms and simply enjoy ourselves the best we can and laugh as often as possible. I need meaning though, otherwise I'll spontaneously combust. So assuming that we do somehow think there is a point at the bottom of our existence, then I figure it's best to figure out what paradigm best supports that point (surely it is the dominant uberparadigm) and dedicate all of our personal power to aligning ourselves in direct service to that paradigm above all others. Within that paradigm perhaps we can seek fluidity of identity to further align ourselves with the subparadigms that allow us best to actualize our individuality in the best interest of the uberlaws. I don't know what that paradigm is, but I think the Tao probably approaches and is a worthy place to begin our NLP process of convincing ourselves that we live within a world as defined by the Tao.

In short, if we must live within constructs not of our making, don't you think that finding a construct that supports personal meaning is a place to begin to improve the constraints of the political constructs we are contained by? I'm hoping your solution isn't purely a political paradigm or I'll feel jipped.

Damn, but I love this season

(credit to http://northcoastcafe.typepad.com/north_coast_cafe/natural_history/ for the photo...see this blog for more: http://northcoastcafe.typepad.com/north_coast_cafe/)

Where I'm at

During August, I made moves to begin reconnecting with members of my profession.
During September, I committed to leadership committees for two causes that I value (1) a nature center and retreat for a community that shares my values and 2) my son's school)
During early October, I became overwhelmed by all that I have taken on for my community and I sorted out how I will manage and joyously fulfill my commitments over the coming year.
Next up, I want to clarify my own personal goals for my career advancement as well as some of my family's concrete goals toward finding stability, and with these goals, clarify my concrete next steps towards achieving them.
...in the meantime, I also want to explore what motivates and sustains me so that I can maintain this momentum and find more joy and contentment in the process.

On loss and gain

Fall is a season of death and letting go as we pass into the cold darkness of winter before spring opens us to new life, it seems fitting at this time that we consider how growth often comes through what on the surface may appear to be death or loss.

In Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, Shunryu Suzuki-Roshi writes:

When we lose our balance we die, but at the same time we also develop … we grow. Whatever we see is changing, losing its balance. The reason everything looks beautiful is because it is out of balance. … This is how everything exists in the realm of Buddha nature, losing its balance against a background of perfect balance. … Everything appears to be in the form of suffering. But if you understand the background of existence, you realize that suffering itself is how we live, and how we extend our life.

More on Hope...

"My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope."
Ovid

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
Harriet Beecher Stowe

"While there's life, there's hope."
Marcus Tullius Cicero

"The capacity for hope is the most significant fact of life. It provides human beings with a sense of destination and the energy to get started."
Norman Cousins

"Everything that is done in the world is done by hope."
Martin Luther

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
Dale Carnegie

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."
Helen Keller

"The poorest man is not without a cent, but without a dream."
Unknown

"It may be those who do most, dream most."
Stephen Leacock

"The uncommon man is merely the common man thinking and dreaming of success in larger terms and in more fruitful areas."
Melvin Powers

"When you reach for the stars, you may not get one, but you probably won't come up with a handful of mud, either."
Unknown

"A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top."
Unknown

"Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams."
Unknown

At the root of it all, there is always hope.

"What oxygen is to the lungs, such is hope to the meaning of life."
Emil Brunner

This day

"Look to this day!
For it is life,the very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
the bliss of growth
the glory of action,
the splendor of beauty;
For yesterday is but a dream,
and tomorrow is only a vision;
but today well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness
and every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day. "

-Attributed to kalidasa

On keeping in the game without thinking too much

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength."
Unknown

Still eating that elephant, one bite at a time

I spent more time reorganizing our apartment today. It is increasingly satisfying the more progress I make and the more progress I make the more "fun" it is to continue. I still can't say that decorating or organizing our clutter and living space is enjoyable, but I can say that I'm kind of into it now. It was worth sticking with because I'm seeing good results and gaining good momentum/shedding resistence by sticking at it.

Leonard Nimoy has been credited with saying:
"The miracle is this--the more we share, the more we have."

It seems to apply to effort too. The more energy I put into something, the more energy I have to put into it.

3 career paths to decide between.

I'm at a loss on how little progress I've made in the way of clarifying my career goals or reentering the work force after my move

I have 3 main options.

1) do freelance information gathering work for non-profits
2) do fundraising work in a regular job situation
3) do depth psychology/ values clarification/coaching work

1 & 2 could be done pretty much right now without any further credentialing.
1 would take a-lot of ground work and self initiative, but I could do it. It would be augmented if I also sought a degree or fundraising certificate while doing it. While I do freelance information brokering, I could also work on advancing to consulting in fundraising strategy as long as I build up my credentials with the certificate program, some volunteering and some speaking at associations. It is actually a rather viable path but requires applied effort. (can't be lazy or unmotivated. must be inspired and sustain faith for this one)

2) could be done now, and would be more comfortable for me as someone else would call the shots for my day to day work as it would be a job, not freelance. But I'd risk (no, I'd be likely to) enter at a lower level of status than I'd like and would have to prove myself over time to move up to the level of responsibility and respect that I want to ultimately find myself. I see that I'd enter at a lower level as my front line fundraising background isn't nearly as strong as my information brokering background. Again, this could be augmented by getting a fundraising cert or degree in non-profit management while working and my status could also increase if I do a small amount of freelance info brokering on the side and speak at associations about that. This way, I'd be rounding out my skills in a paid position while still using my strongest assets now and then.

3) I could revive the passion that I tossed away for practical reasons over 10 years ago when I had to sustain my husband and I though his education—I could do work in the area of teaching emotional intelligence and self-awareness skills. This is tricky. Although I could build a curriculum, I have no recent experience, a very old undergraduate degree in it, and no masters level authority to rest on/rather unprofessional. I think I should not look to this as an income for now, but pursue it as a serious interest through nonpaying opportunities. It is important enough to me as a value that I can revive it first kind of as a hobby and then see where it takes me. I will nonetheless look at the necessary training to make it a profession, but I'm quite certain it will take more time and $ than is practicable in my current life situation to do. Looking into making this a profession should take a backburner to 1 & 2 though since it will require so much more of my time, $ and energy resources (all of which are spread pretty thin at the moment).

somehow at the moment option 2 seems easiest to me. I'm not sure that easiest is best though. I'll explore next steps for each option later...

Things take time and aren't always pleasant...but are, afterall, well worth the effort

A post ago, I wrote about a task that I was not looking forward to or likely to enjoy doing much, but that I was committed to getting done just the same. I spoke of how a dear friend had tried to encourage me with his wish that I "have fun" while doing it. He purported that "having fun at whatever we do is the definition of freedom." I wasn't anticipating having any fun and just saw it as something that needed to be accomplished whatever the mood. Surely, I would have been happiest in-the-moment to have not done the task facing me then, but I wouldn't be nearly as happy now if the task weren't effectively done.

Now, "Freedom," like "Truth" is a very complicated thing! But having "fun" probably has little to do with defining either. Just the same, it would be fabulous if I could have fun in every moment of my life, or even if I could keep my mood positive and light. But I just don't see that as being likely or even practicable (unless I find a good manageable drug). Maybe this friend was trying to tell me to "lighten-up" in general—but that's another blog entirely.

In the end, I didn't have much "fun" while doing it, but I am sure in better humor now that it is done. It was indeed worth enduring a day of unpleasantness for the good result.

I can say that I felt "free" in that I was able to commit to something that was decidedly important to me and that will clearly make my life easier/happier/more likely to be fulfilling as a result of my efforts. The ability to choose those things that will most suit us over time is indeed a form of freedom. In turn, if I don't exercise my will to do those things that I know will improve my life or situation, I'm binding myself in a form of restriction.

Notes to a Nameless Daughter: Two truths are evident from this task 1) my efforts can be meaningful and rewarding and 2) enjoyment comes in delayed doses sometimes. (The corollary is: it is sometimes worth enduring unpleasantness or being overwhelmed for the reward on the other side)

I am also reminded of the question: "How do you eat an elephant?"
The answer of course is simply "one bite at a time!"

(...BTW, I don't think I said what the project itself was. Truly, it could have been almost anything and what it was is less important than how I was approaching it and how I felt about doing it—but for the record, it was a day of cleaning, purging and reorganizing the chaotic entryway to my home in preparation for the coming winter. I cleared a 6'x6' space of boxes and less-than-functional furniture, to make a pleasant and efficient space for hanging our coats and storing our boots, mittens, keys, and day bags, etc. so that our comings and goings will be easier. (I will for some time be focusing on all corners of our living space in a similar way. I'll especially be thinning out our belongings, and organizing/reorganizing all corners of our small living space. I find this a daunting unpleasant task, but it is necessary and well worthwhile because 1) we have moved from a much larger home to a smaller transitional city apartment and have too many belongings for our current living situation and 2) for our long-term goal of having a well-ordered home. 3) Also, we hope someday in the next 5 years to be able to buy a house and want to start out that new home with only the things we most care about—not the 40+ years of extraneous clutter we moved with this time. I will write more about this task over time as it will be an ongoing long-term project.)

My intents for this blog: I'm back.

On my choice to keep this blog public:
So, Maybe I should change the name of this blog to "Finding my way out of this paper bag I've stumbled into." I truly doubt that reading it will be of much interest or use to others, yet just the same I've decided that I will continue posting it publicly. I'm not completely sure why I am deciding to not switch it to a private blog, but I'm not going to give it much thought as it feels more right to keep it public than to switch it to private (even though the urge is certainly there to do so). One factor is that I feel our society has too few places where the mundane private is shared publicly and who knows, someone may just benefit by reading the personal processing of a fellow human being. Another factor may be that it feels slightly more real if I post it than if I keep it completely to myself. (As a confirmed introvert, I have a tendency to keep my thoughts and energies completely to myself and maybe posting the personal is a way of tipping the scales a bit.)

The purpose of this blog as a personal process log:
I must reaffirm that I'm writing it for myself only. This blog functions mainly as a check-in for where my personal process is on any given day. My hope is that by writing regularly, I will keep my energies flowing outward more than just rattling around in the overactive yet unproductive corners of my head. What I really need is just a place to check-in, spew a bit, maybe jot down some top priorities or side thoughts and then move on—a journal, and a place to boil down thoughts on aspects of what seems to make my life work more smoothly than not for me and only for me (as we are each so different in what helps us along).

A disclaimer about what might have been (my 4 wing speaking):
I regret the loss of what it won't become, because I'm aware that a blog could be so much more polished and thoughtful and useful to others. A blog on a specific topic other than one's own day to day life could really be quite an exciting and interesting endeavor (I've stumbled upon a few that are well worth the read). But just as I'm not in a place to spend time reading all the really interesting essay type blogs out there (or even regularly checking in on some thoughtful personal postings), I'm also not in a place where it would serve me well to write one or to be conscious of or responsive to a readership, or of making this a site worth visiting for anyone other than myself. This is a space of my own, with a window open for others to peer in if they choose to for whatever reason suits them alone.

Why I stalled and my solipsistic intents for resuming:
I initially started this blog for myself and stopped when I felt an awkwardness around the fact that it was being read (and therefore had reason to consider making it more than just a journal, or at least to make it a really good journal). …I'm back now, more aware than ever that I really just need a place to check in for myself and that this time I am all the more committed to not concerning myself with whomever chooses to look at it for whatever reason suits them—that is their business, writing it in whatever form it takes is mine. So if others get anything out of seeing my day to day process, so be it, you are very welcome, but it is my expectation that you have your own life to concern yourself with and will find my solipsism of little interest or use to you. If you do choose to read it, I don't mind and do welcome your comments as to how what I've written relates to your experience, but I may not be disposed to engage in a dialogue about your responses. Rather, I wish to leave each post and then move on in accordance to how my day to day experiences shift the focus of my mind onto new things. Perhaps your comment may lead me to a new post which is tangentially connected, who knows, but I doubt I'll wish to engage in a direct dialog as that would divert my focus away from my own momentary process. If I don't respond to your post, know that I still do wish you well in your own process and may have gotten something out of your comment, even if I didn't respond. This particular blog is primarily just a dialog I'm having with myself on my own process as influence by my day to day experience (albeit publicly).

What I expect will emerge (beyond a routine mind-dump for me):
It seems that a likely theme will come from my need to figure out issues around how to invest in and reconstruct healthy and vital connections in my life—time, focus, energy, choices, how I'm maintaining momentum and whether I'm finding "the juice" in my endeavors. I am constructing my path anew in a new environment (I moved within the last year to a new country and city leaving all career, friends and favorite connections behind (hopefully for some equally promising options here). I also find myself in something of a midlife crisis time of casually questioning my choices and paths with more commitment to actualizing myself than before.)

The Rules of the Game:
I hope to post several times a week as I think that would help me keep momentum and to keep my mind empty of thoughts that could distract me throughout the day. We'll see.

On Privacy:
One last thought, as the net is a very public forum ( I know this to be very true as professionally I have been an investigative researcher), I am likely to be vague about the specifics of my situation as I don't want to be identified so that I don't feel the need to self-edit in other ways. Anonymity ironically helps me to keep true to my own identity.

Things take time...tick, tick, tick

I got the white rabbit tattooed on my butt as a totem some years ago. I was celebrating that I no longer felt at odds with time any more--time had become my friend. I used it well and no longer horded it. Of course, all things are relative, I could still use some improvement in time management. But on the whole my relationship with time had vastly improved from when I was younger. The change was mosty about shedding resistance and opening to enthousiasm, thereby owning my time better.
Just the same, oy, time itself is not something that it's easy to come to terms with. Even though I'm better at choosing what I use my time for, I cannot alter the fundamental nature of time--or the amount of time it takes to do a given thing. If it is a thing I enjoy, no problem, I'd just as soon it last forever. But I'm challenged to maintain enthousiasm and engagement for some things that are dull (or even disheartening).
We all do it, find ways around noticing how time is slipping from us--whistle while you work, count sheep while waiting for sleep, watch the clock. But how do we find ways to enjoy our time more even when we are doing what we don't want to. I was challenged with this from a friend today: "I hope you can have fun with what needs to be done -- that's the definition of freedom" I've decided I'm not up to "having fun" at the task at hand that I see as tedious. I will instead maintain my efforts by remembering why I want it done as I do it and will juice as much joy as I can from envisioning how satisfied I'll be when I'm done. But hey, sometimes, things just aren't fun or a kick at all, they are just something I feel I have to turn my mind off to and do.
I can say that I'm glad I'm doing the task at hand. I very much want the results. I'm grateful I have the time to devote to it.
And to make it more enjoyable, I'll turn on some good music to while away the time it takes to do it. And I'll turn off my head to chop wood and carry water. But hey, I doubt I'll be having fun. Does everything have to be fun?