On Keeping House
I had some very interesting, highly-actualized friends whose doormat read “ONLY DULL PEOPLE HAVE CLEAN HOUSES”. I had never seen my sentiments about cleanliness summed up so well before!
[btw, their house was very orderly and tidy, though none of their furniture and few of their plates or silverware matched.]
I’ve been struggling for the last 2 years with a goal of finally showing that I care about my living space by “keeping house” like a happy, happy homemaker…and I think I’ve finally achieved peace with the idea of it all. I have, at the same time, finally achieved an orderly, tidy house-- Kapow, give me meaning and I can manifest concrete results. The key was to discover the proper motivation while trying, and trying again, to actually get on top of the clutter.
[Do note that I’ve been living on my own for well over 20 years, I just never cared much about “keeping house.” I rather kept a sort of chaos that I not-so-affectionately referred to as “creative clutter,” which was anything but conducive to creativity and not suited to entertaining for anyone other than my closest friends.]
Some beliefs I had to get over were:
-From childhood: “If all my stuff is out and on display, someone can either make fun of it or take it but either way it’ll be more my own if I just keep it in a pile rather than out in clear view.” (I grew up in a shared room with family members who had loosely defined boundaries and sometimes large senses of entitlement)
-From seeing too many sterile suburban houses: “Spotless houses are an idiot’s attempt to deny their vulnerability and humanity while asserting that they are normal therefore beyond reproach.” Or “Cleanliness is a form of denial of who we are not a form of expression of who we are”
-Also from these sterile suburban houses "decisive cleanliness shows a lack of imagination, it show that the owners of the house can't think of anything better to do than dishes at 5:00 and washing on Wednesdays."
-Another from the "regular sort of houses": "A clean house owns you, you should own the house not the other way around so you should do as little as necessary to keep it healthy but not more" little did I realize how much an orderly and well kept house can free you.
-From feeling alienated in overyly clean spaces “Keeping a clean house is an assholes way of controlling the elements and all those around them.”
Now I see cleanliness as a means of expediting actualization. I love that I know where all that I need is. I love that I want to share my space with others because it is inviting and welcoming. I love that there is a place for each thing and each thing is in its place. I can do and be so much more easily in my home now. It is an extension of me and a tool for my own expression.
Note to Nameless Daughter:
Clean your room... it is your haven.
[Hat tip to Flylady.com]
[btw, their house was very orderly and tidy, though none of their furniture and few of their plates or silverware matched.]
I’ve been struggling for the last 2 years with a goal of finally showing that I care about my living space by “keeping house” like a happy, happy homemaker…and I think I’ve finally achieved peace with the idea of it all. I have, at the same time, finally achieved an orderly, tidy house-- Kapow, give me meaning and I can manifest concrete results. The key was to discover the proper motivation while trying, and trying again, to actually get on top of the clutter.
[Do note that I’ve been living on my own for well over 20 years, I just never cared much about “keeping house.” I rather kept a sort of chaos that I not-so-affectionately referred to as “creative clutter,” which was anything but conducive to creativity and not suited to entertaining for anyone other than my closest friends.]
Some beliefs I had to get over were:
-From childhood: “If all my stuff is out and on display, someone can either make fun of it or take it but either way it’ll be more my own if I just keep it in a pile rather than out in clear view.” (I grew up in a shared room with family members who had loosely defined boundaries and sometimes large senses of entitlement)
-From seeing too many sterile suburban houses: “Spotless houses are an idiot’s attempt to deny their vulnerability and humanity while asserting that they are normal therefore beyond reproach.” Or “Cleanliness is a form of denial of who we are not a form of expression of who we are”
-Also from these sterile suburban houses "decisive cleanliness shows a lack of imagination, it show that the owners of the house can't think of anything better to do than dishes at 5:00 and washing on Wednesdays."
-Another from the "regular sort of houses": "A clean house owns you, you should own the house not the other way around so you should do as little as necessary to keep it healthy but not more" little did I realize how much an orderly and well kept house can free you.
-From feeling alienated in overyly clean spaces “Keeping a clean house is an assholes way of controlling the elements and all those around them.”
Now I see cleanliness as a means of expediting actualization. I love that I know where all that I need is. I love that I want to share my space with others because it is inviting and welcoming. I love that there is a place for each thing and each thing is in its place. I can do and be so much more easily in my home now. It is an extension of me and a tool for my own expression.
Note to Nameless Daughter:
Clean your room... it is your haven.
[Hat tip to Flylady.com]
posted by Pearl Pocock | 9:01 AM
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