Lady in the Water

Up till now I haven't been one for posting movie reviews. And this isn't one either, so much as an observation. In M. Night Shyamalan's "Lady in the Water" the message of PURPOSE was strong: That is, we all have one. We all are meant to be somebody with significance and the onus is on us to figure out what our purpose is and to bring our best attributes to the world.

This message seems to holds true for everyone in the movie except critics…who are made out to be arrogant assholes who we mustn't make the mistake of listening to, even if they convince us that they are so very certain of their truth and of their own purpose that we ought to be certain of them as well.

My observation: most of the critics whose reviews are compiled on the Rotten Tomatoes site panned the movie…could they just be sore that the character who most resembles them is the only one who Shyamalan appears to have no use for and disposed of for comic relief? Are they just feeling cranky that they alone are not special? Are they irritable because as long as they persist in being critics they are evidently of no use to the betterment of the world?



Note to Nameless Daughter:
MNS has a point, don't be taken in by the loud and arrogant. Trust yourself to find your own way.

ps and let loose and laugh a bit along the way. Even the process of finding and fulfilling one's purpose is peppered with lots of absurdity and inherent humor.

Caught Off Guard

Tentative plans were made and I was meant to follow thru on arranging for and hosting the night. Bad Idea (...to leave it to me without reinforcing that it wasn't just tentative in the hopes of the children and adults involved). I just don't take deadlines seriously and unless someone makes it truly clear to me that they are really counting on it, I don't bother. Fundamentally, I want to be left alone and in stasis--its safer that way. Fundamentally, I assume my efforts aren't worth putting forth because I don't think they'll matter to anyone else and I don't want to be disappointed myself when whatever I do gets sabotaged or co-opted by others. Fundamentally, I assume that what I attempt won't matter. [these fundamental assumptions are the foundation I inherited from my childhood when I couldn't rely on my environment or those around me, it is not how I want to feel or even what I have to think, but it is my baseline and the viewpoint I have to constatntly shake before really opening myself to the viewpoints I find so much more validating and rewarding…it's just my default if I don't commit to feeling otherwise]

The flip side: I know now that when I DO accept that something is important to myself or others, when I DO allow myself to suspend my disbelief and feel enthusiasm about something, when others do show their enthusiasm for something and I can trust that they mean it and will be able to sustain their enthusiasm…I really DO enjoy doing things and I really DO enjoy the results of doing these things.

Damn, I wait for when it will become second nature for me to actually do what I, or others, ask of me. And in case it may never become second nature to be responsive to requests in this way, I actively wait and practice for it to be second nature to affirm that I want to do what others want of me and I want of myself with no procrastination or hesitation. When it becomes second nature for me to KNOW that my efforts are worthwhile and meaningful and to practice acting on that knowledge I know I'll be fully and vibrantly alive. When it becomes second nature to really followthru without hesitation but with faith that I matter and my efforts matter.

Anyway, today it seems that the 4 people + myself involved did actually want to do what we had tentatively planned, and were genuinely excited about it…so I managed to pull it together for this evening at the last minute once they clarified that it was something they were counting on. I hate that I almost let them down by not taking it seriously, by not being able to tap into my own enthusiasm above and beyond my need to hold myself in reserve. But I love that they are all game for it and that it will indeed happen even on short notice.

Once again, tonight is evidence to support that what I do and don't do does matter to myself and others. We'll have fun tonight and hopefully since the night is to benefit my son's (and his buddy's) creativity it will also result in him KNOWING in a way that I didn't get from my childhood that every action he takes, every brush stroke he does brings something worthwhile to the world and is worth putting forth.

Note to Nameless Daughter:
Release and celebrate your enthusiasm and invest in and apply your efforts! They are gifts to the world that will be received in ways you may never fully realize and they are necessary to keep the flow of life-energy going.

SingleMindedNess

When I am working on something, nothing else matters, nothing else can matter. That one thing, that one task must be allowed to become my whole world. All else draws me away from being centered on completing that thing-at-hand. It is only in the moments of true centering that I make any significant progress. It is only when I give myself to a purpose that I become truly effective at completing it.

Note to Nameless Daughter:
Give yourself up to your work. It knows with more clarity its own essence and path than you. Once you’ve defined the beginning and set your compass on the desired direction, let it do the navigation and dictate the steps; remember you can always refiness the course if you find you’ve both gone astray from the desired outcome. Your mind is full of too many things and has interference where-as the task at hand has no agenda but its own completion. Trust it to know its own path and get the fuck out of its way. “Turn Off Your Mind, Relax and Float Downstream.”

managing mundane matters with manditory minimums

What's most important? What would I be really sad or feel empty about if I didn't accomplish today? What do I want in my life daily to build upon toward a greater goal? What are the 3 things that would make me happy to have done today?

The more I create clarity on what daily bite-sized actions I'm motivated to invest in, the more I am able to follow through on them consistently.

Each step of the way when I'm able to do manageable bite-sized actions, I feel so much more empowered to dream larger goals are achievable.

The day-to-day accomplishments feed me-—my enthusiasm, and faith that my actions do have meaning and impact.

Misconnections

It's been a day of intensity and mismatched understandings and agendas today.
1) An evangelistic friend-of-a-friend tried to convert another friend in the park while we all really just wanted to chill and watch our children enjoying splashing around in the wading pool and 2) I made the dim-mistake of forwarding a friend's emails to other friends without asking first so that the first friend had reason to perhaps feel misrepresented, misunderstood, or misappropriated!

I forwarded without checking first because I got excited about what she'd said and thought for sure it would be valuable to others. Likewise, I expect the-minister-of-The-Truth got excited about what he had to say and didn't concern himself about whether the moment was auspicious for communication.

…Irregardless of whether either of us may have been right or not, we forced information into the world without testing whether it was right for all involved to do so. In both cases we really meant well and in our own worlds felt certain what we had to share was good stuff. At the bottom of it all, I presume that we wanted mostly to connect with those we were in relation to. But in both instances we were in phenomenally different places than those we were in relation to. We were dead wrong about how we were "sharing" and both messages were at least in part lost. We both alienated another by our intensity and overzealousness and negated our intent of connecting on something we really felt good about.

… It's a wonderment that we ever connect as humans, each and every one of us has such different motivations, different needs, different perspectives, and different concerns—how do we ever get it right, at the right time, in the right way? ...And yet we do engage each other constantly.

In today's instances, clearly, both uncomfortable situations could have been mitigated if we had been more aware and sensitive to the people involved, if we had checked in with all involved about what we wanted to share—whether it was welcome/on target, whether it was ours to share, whether it could be received in the way we hoped to share it.

Acht, there's nothing for me to do now about my own miscommunication but be grateful for the human capacity for forgiveness. And to know that though I get excited, it's truly quite easy most of the time for me to check in with others as to their wishes. I know I'll do so more sensitively for quite some time again cause it's not worth this feeling of having dissed someone I really wanted to embrace.

…I'm wondering though when the fundamentalist-minister-of-g-d's-own-message will get clarity that others aren't on the same page as he and are at peace in with their own stance. Is his message so very meaningful that he doesn't care who he puts off? or does he just not understand that what he has to share won't be received if it isn't already being looked for? Or is he just so concerned with himself that he doesn't give a shit about others at all? Or does he interpret our disinterest in what he values as reinforcement of why we are all damned to hell. Whatever it is, he's definitely in a space I have trouble accessing.

Note to Nameless Daughter:
We are each here with different needs, impressions, perspectives, tasks and gifts. We can never fully understand, speak for, speak directly to, or even really be entirely one-with others. To honor our uniquenesses while enjoying our connections we are called upon to make room to each walk our own paths, voice our own voices and interpret our own meanings in our own way and our own turn, knowing that we are only sharing corners of the same experiences. We must gently and lovingly resist overwhelming each other with our own being, while gently and lovingly holding to the points of connection that are clearly evident (yet still open to re-interpretation).

It is enough to be with. It is foul to presume to be the same.

A stitch in Time…

My relationship with time is tricky. I got the white rabbit tattoed on my bum for that very reason. I have progressed though and am seriously considering adding an hourglass with wings to my landscape if I can just decide where to place it.

Evidence of my improved co-operation with time is that if something really will only take 5-10 minutes and I have 10-20 to spare, I won't put that thing off or write it on a list or sit on it for days to wait for the most auspicious moment, I'll just get it done.

phew. It makes things so much easier.

Note to N. Daughter:
Don't let time intimidate you. Just let go and simply do what is at hand.