Dearest Queen B

You have no idea how knowing you has changed my life. A most happy birthday to you!!!!*
I'm so sorry I won't be able to take you out to celebrate---you must come visit so I can (and so you can help me paint my walls).


*this exuberant punctuation should give you some indication, as you know full well that I wouldn't have used such excesses before your training in life. ...Hell, get this, recently, I even got my eyebrows waxed on my own volition ...Come to think of it, I'm not sure all your influence has been for good and not evil—but then, I welcome even the devils in the mix as you've brought so much life and joy to me.

Thanks, and here's to another spin around the sun for you. May you enjoy it more than those around you enjoy you!—which you know full well is immensely. This may sound like a curse, but I do wish that you take back from the world some of what you continually give out during this next year.