chop wood, carry water
How is it that I more readily spend my time creating vision statements for organizations instead of for my own life path?
How is it that I would rather do the dishes for a community event than in my own kitchen?
How is it that I am more likely to review a budget as a board member than to set the budget of my own household???
How is it that I'm completely organized for others, but in complete chaos in my own home?
-It can't be because I like the company of others better than I like to be alone—I'm too much of a misanthrope for that to be true
-It can't be because I like the adoration others give for my jobs well done—more often then not they spend time fighting the changes I propose long before they accept and admire them and much of what I do goes unnoticed in the end
-It could be because I think the purposes outside my house will have a stronger impact than things like setting up my own retirement fund will—but hey, if I don’t take care of myself and my basic needs and the basic tragectory of my life, I can't keep functioning for the other values and purposes I want to…so I really do need to tend to the household basics first.
During the last month I have spent so much time as a leader in my community and so little time cleaning and feathering my own nest. The winter cold is reminding me that I need to tend to my home needs before overextending myself for causes outside my family and home—the warmth and sustenance in the next season will surely be at home.
Yet, it is so compelling for me to put my energies into creating and moving forward the visions and goals beyond the day to day upkeep of my family needs. It might be more helpful if we were in crisis at home because then there would be no argument in my head about whether to put time into my family. Things seemingly cruise forward at home without any catastrophes if I don't take the garbage out regularly. But in actuality, we really are just treading water.
If I were looking at my career and my family household operations as though I were a board member of this operation, as though it were a nonprofit, I would say, holy fucking shit, you need to get to work on this and that and set up a committee for this and Jesus H Krishna you are heading for big trouble and need to set a mission, a budget, a vision statement, and a plan of action sooner than ASAP. Why, oh, why though, do I not see my family's needs in this way? And why don't I tend to our purposes with the same fervor and intent that I do to nonprofit causes I value. …The kitty litter doesn't change itself, the bank acct doesn't balance itself and seek a better interest rate on its own, my career path isn't managing itself. So why do I take them all for granted as if they do? Why do I behave as though it will all be ok if I let household and family matters slide like nothing else in my life? Who the ^&%! knows???
… I'll try an experiment this next week and see if I can extend it beyond. I'll try to look at my own and my family's needs as though they are as pressing and important as my community commitments. It may be hard for me to sustain this belief, so I'll perhaps interview and consider hiring a coach to help me manage this basic area of my life. Today, on the agenda is: arranging for our taxes to be resubmitted as they were done incorrectly last year, securing our car registration, changing the stanky kitty litter, doing the build-up of morning dishes and sorting out the incorrect phone/internet bill—all of these urgently need to be tended to before anything less basic can take place. Shifting my focus to household maintenance, will mean squeezing time away from writing a mission statement and outlining a program for another nonprofit organization, but my household board chair(me) insists upon it. It is equally important.
How is it that some others manage to keep their houses so clean and their finances in order? Do they have nothing else in their lives? Are they just painfully boring people? Or have they achieved a balance between their commitments inside and outside the home?
How is it that I would rather do the dishes for a community event than in my own kitchen?
How is it that I am more likely to review a budget as a board member than to set the budget of my own household???
How is it that I'm completely organized for others, but in complete chaos in my own home?
-It can't be because I like the company of others better than I like to be alone—I'm too much of a misanthrope for that to be true
-It can't be because I like the adoration others give for my jobs well done—more often then not they spend time fighting the changes I propose long before they accept and admire them and much of what I do goes unnoticed in the end
-It could be because I think the purposes outside my house will have a stronger impact than things like setting up my own retirement fund will—but hey, if I don’t take care of myself and my basic needs and the basic tragectory of my life, I can't keep functioning for the other values and purposes I want to…so I really do need to tend to the household basics first.
During the last month I have spent so much time as a leader in my community and so little time cleaning and feathering my own nest. The winter cold is reminding me that I need to tend to my home needs before overextending myself for causes outside my family and home—the warmth and sustenance in the next season will surely be at home.
Yet, it is so compelling for me to put my energies into creating and moving forward the visions and goals beyond the day to day upkeep of my family needs. It might be more helpful if we were in crisis at home because then there would be no argument in my head about whether to put time into my family. Things seemingly cruise forward at home without any catastrophes if I don't take the garbage out regularly. But in actuality, we really are just treading water.
If I were looking at my career and my family household operations as though I were a board member of this operation, as though it were a nonprofit, I would say, holy fucking shit, you need to get to work on this and that and set up a committee for this and Jesus H Krishna you are heading for big trouble and need to set a mission, a budget, a vision statement, and a plan of action sooner than ASAP. Why, oh, why though, do I not see my family's needs in this way? And why don't I tend to our purposes with the same fervor and intent that I do to nonprofit causes I value. …The kitty litter doesn't change itself, the bank acct doesn't balance itself and seek a better interest rate on its own, my career path isn't managing itself. So why do I take them all for granted as if they do? Why do I behave as though it will all be ok if I let household and family matters slide like nothing else in my life? Who the ^&%! knows???
… I'll try an experiment this next week and see if I can extend it beyond. I'll try to look at my own and my family's needs as though they are as pressing and important as my community commitments. It may be hard for me to sustain this belief, so I'll perhaps interview and consider hiring a coach to help me manage this basic area of my life. Today, on the agenda is: arranging for our taxes to be resubmitted as they were done incorrectly last year, securing our car registration, changing the stanky kitty litter, doing the build-up of morning dishes and sorting out the incorrect phone/internet bill—all of these urgently need to be tended to before anything less basic can take place. Shifting my focus to household maintenance, will mean squeezing time away from writing a mission statement and outlining a program for another nonprofit organization, but my household board chair(me) insists upon it. It is equally important.
How is it that some others manage to keep their houses so clean and their finances in order? Do they have nothing else in their lives? Are they just painfully boring people? Or have they achieved a balance between their commitments inside and outside the home?
posted by Pearl Pocock | 9:06 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home