The key is to keep the grass greener on this side!

Amazingly, I woke up excited about doing the little things in my life. I think I've found the key—the threat of a routine and uninspiring job. (Maybe I should look for a part time position so that I enjoy, by comparison, the time spent on my own stuff all the more, while allowing for time spent on my own stuff—which includes setting up my own consulting business.)

This morning, with the pressing awareness of the job I applied for yesterday, I am invigorated to do things for moving my family forward. Things that usually weigh me down heavily and give me little personal satisfaction, like dealing with the car insurance company yet again and faxing our tax documents to the tax preparer who boffed them the first time earlier this year.

A couple weeks ago, I had what I realized at the end of the day was a perfect day. It was a day in which I felt valued, did good work, enjoyed others and expanded my world. I woke up, spent the first hours before the sun rose working on a fundraising plan and mission statement for a local community organization. After my son and spouse woke up, we had breakfast together and readied for our day. I escorted my son and 51 of his classmates (with 8 other adults) on a field trip to a farm, where we all enjoyed and endured a very blustery day that left all the kids so tired they fell asleep clutching their new pumpkins on the long bus ride home. I cleaned a little upon our return home and did basic household things with my son nearby. Then, I made a huge pot of soup (inspired by the very blustery day). Brought some of the soup over to my neighbors, left some for my son and spouse to eat and brought the rest to a group where I had a pot luck. The evening was spent with a liberal, intelligent, and engaging group having an intellectual and non-dogma/creed-centered spiritual discussion about what it means to each of us to "belong" in the world,in our community, as part of our families, in our friendships. I came home late to my son already tucked into bed and my husband doing some creative writing. The day had everything I'd like in my life:
-time with my son at his level fostering his growth
-time with my community sharing work and fun and thoughtful inquiry which expanded our posibilities
-time with my family being creative and just enjoying each other
-time doing the basics of life (cleaning and cooking)
-time doing something I'm really good at for the good of an organization/cause larger than I am
-it was an important bonus that those around me were fulfilled and enjoying what they were doing as well

I would add to it only one thing that would make it even more satisfying to me. If I were making some hard cash to give our family more financial stability I would feel more relaxed about and justified in doing all the other things I wanted to that day. ...I never wanted my husband to be the only income for our family and it scares me to have it be so (even though he's comfortable with it for the moment), especially since his business is such a volitile industry. I don't think we can keep it so for very long. So I add a hope that I'll increase our financial stability through better money management and at least some income from my efforts soon.

Actually, I'd add one other thing to round it out: something that tends to my body health, yoga, exercise, attention to nutrition etc.

This is a good start to mapping out how I'd like to define my days. I don't want a job in which I'm doing one routine thing and my performance is measured by how many reports I produce.